i would be a bad mum

aparentley if me and Marc split I would basically be a bad mum for not expecting him to pay for any of my rent, food or bills because i would ask him solely for money to support the kids and no more in view of that i wouldn't be able to provide a home for the kids.

do you agree that absent dads should pay for rent and bills on top of Child support

i will not take any offence to any opinions that differ to mine as thats what a debate is for

I think the csa states that the money fathers pay is a contribution to the house but not to pay the rent or bills.

As for bills it's unfair to ask a person who doesn't live in the house to pay for things that the moms picked to have

Don't think it makes you a bad mom, just a sensible one x

Difficult one.
My doesn't pay my mortgage and bills as I work and pay them myself. But he does pay Csa which helps with various other things.

But if say man who earned a good living walked out on his wife and child and the wife didn't work due to being Soley responsible for looking after her babies do we thing the father should cough up or the state????

Hmmm toughie!
Is this theoretical? I just ask because will it mean you would have to go homeless to get help with housing?

I would say my opinion would depend how much the father wanted to see his kids, if its 50/50 then of course just support for the kids would be fine because you would both be providing a roof/heat/food etc to your children equally. If it was less than that I would be inclined to say yes he should provide some money towards this because in my opinion people become parents together and should always have a 50/50 responsibility to those children. Hope that makes sense?

I think that paying for your child would include money toward the food bills etc for the children obviously not for the adult .

Its all in theory really, well kind of its just we found out that our support money has been used to provide a party and presents for OH's ex's other child and it was just a debate to find out weather i am right or wrong to be peed off that we seem to be supporting a child that we arn't involved with as I was then told I would be a bad mum if we were to split and only take money for support the children we have not everything else

I don't think it's right to spend it on her other child that's a whole different kettle of fish, but also it all swings in round abouts, they could say that the money you guys give was spent on the kids and their money payed for the party and gifts. I guess once the money leaves you and reaches them its just an income of sorts and not necessarily thought of as money that should only be spent on certain things.
If its her child birthday regardless of the maintenance money they would still have had to buy gifts.
I'm not sure if I'm making sense really lol

Hey Suzie, you're not a bad mum and never will be. It is a tricky one I suppose but I'd be peed off too if that happened. But I suppose we don't really know how people budget and pay for things.

How's you and bump doing xx